Why I Love Palace – The Reasons Behind The Madness (explained as simply as I can I Promise)
I became a Palace fan in April 1990 after the FA Cup Semi Final victory over Liverpool. I visited Villa Park for the first time for a League Cup match in 2003, Kit Symonds scored an own goal and we lost 3 – 1 but the magic of the stadium was not lost on me. It was a bit like a pilgrimage to a special place and the fact I had made my way there on my own independently made the night feel special and that the result of the match I was watching did not actually matter.
1990 was a special year a cup final, followed by my first memory of international football, Italia 90 still my best memory of a World Cup, a cracking operatic theme and a brilliant (if basic) Amstrad Computer game. Perhaps surprisingly under influence from my German best friend I supported Germany. To all those patriots reading this I am truly sorry, but the facts are Germany won and 8yrs old is an impressionable age and as a Palace fan I have never had another chance to be a glory hunter.
As an impressionable 8yr old it was the bright contrast of the red and blue colours that attracted me to Palace that April afternoon and what a match! A 4 – 3 score line that took us to Wembley for the first time in the clubs history, we went back in playoff finals in 96 and 97 but this to me remains the most special time we played there, because Wembley as the home of English football holds a certain allure for Palace fans of my age and generation.
Who would have guessed that ‘big nosed’ Steve Bruce could make me cry in May 1990 as that impressionable 8yr old when he lifted the cup for Utd that painful Wednesday night following a 1 – 0 replay victory following on just days from the Saturday before when we threw it away. At the age of 20 in 2002 ‘big nose’ made me cry again when he walked out on the club I love for Birmingham nine weeks into a five year contract. A painful time to be an Eagle was made worse by the fact we were playing fantastic football were clear at the top of the league and all he left in his wake was the bitterness of supporters and potential unfulfilled. Despite later admitting mistakes Bruce’s actions had a long term negative effect on Simon Jordan’s chairmanship because had he stayed at least hypothetically Jordan’s time at the club would have been marked by more time in the top flight.
Steve Coppell was a historic figure at Palace throughout the 1990’s and then as a fire fighter during our first administration period in 2000. He was also Reading’s most successful ever manager which is important because I have lived in Reading since 1991 and Reading’s relative success for the period they were in the Premier League breathed new life into the town. Coppell though for me is responsible for building the Palace side I fell in love with that was responsible for the Cup Final, third place in the top flight as well as keeping us up on a shoestring in 1998/99.
Throughout the 1990’s despite school on a Saturday morning I loved Palace and because I could not attend matches (apart from v Reading or v Oxford) I was driven with a passion to love Palace and I followed the matches live on ceefax. I followed the different Palace sides of the 1990’s from Wright, Bright, and Martyn, to Southgate, Coleman, Dyer, Armstrong, Dowie, Ndah and Veart, screaming or crying according to how the goals went in as the page updated. Yet this made my first season ticket all the more special on my 16th birthday, appropriately brought by my Uncle as it was him who introduced me to the passion that changed my life.
One season to enjoy the likes of Lombardo, Jansen, and Curcic before they moved on to make way for many more seasons of trials and tribulations. I am so passionate about Palace because I had to wait a long time for the opportunity to watch Palace live. Over the years I have spent a lot of time apologising for, and justifying the reasons I love Palace, but it would be in the intervening years since 1998 I would slowly learn Palace were involved in some of the greatest one off moments of my life. Instead of being embarrassed I should be proud and if others want to judge or criticise me for loving Palace that is their loss.
The year 2000 changed my life on Millennium eve I was admitted to hospital in a state of acute depression I became catatonic and until May 2001 I would be in hospital dealing with the aftermath of my illness. It is at this point I must stress how important the love of my family and friends were in helping me recover but my life would not be my own if Palace did not play some part of my recovery. My dad read to me football results when I was catatonic hoping it would aid my recovery. Later and despite hating football my dad took me to Selhurst to watch a match v Watford and it was great, but him not being interested in football sat with me in the stand and read the Times newspaper from cover to cover showing no interest in events on the pitch. This shows how much he loves me and I will always love him for the support he gave me then and now and I hope I would be able to show the same level of selflessness towards any children I have.
Palace’s part in my recovery came the week I left hospital for the last time following my breakdown in May 2001. In the bottom three after struggling through administration and in poor form since making the League Cup Semi final at the turn of the year Alan Smith was out and Kember was in for the last two matches of the season. Away to Portsmouth and Stockport we stayed alive with a 4 – 2 win at Portsmouth thanks to an influential debut from Aki Riihilahti and goals from Mikel Forsell and Dougie Freedman. So I find myself with my brother at Edgeley Park in Stockport witnessing a match the like of which would not be seen again until Hillsborough and Sheffield Wednesday in 2010. 89 minutes on the clock when a brinkmanship winner from Freedman kept us alive in the second tier. Freedman’s brilliance was the reason for our escape and its worth reflecting that Huddersfield have not played at the second tier of English football since their relegation instead of us.
A key explanation of why I love Palace is the exciting times they go through on the pitch and the scary times off it, now I must mention in some detail the effect on my love of Palace of the phenomenon that is Dougie Freedman. For me the man is a legend on a par with Coppell and a big reason for my passion for Palace. His goal at Stockport gave me the courage to face the future and his influence as a player (100 goals in two spells) and as a manager when he was assistant at Hillsborough when the club survived at Sheffield Wednesday in 2010. For me Freedman is a kind of goal scoring guardian of the Palace and its supporters.
Had events at Stockport not materialised as they did it is unclear how I would have coped with the future effects of my illness. Yet it was in that moment at Stockport I felt a close symbiotic bond with the club and Freedman that I still feel to this day. What followed were magic moments with Palace from the promotion under Dowie in 2003 when AJ weaved his magic and I got up close to Darren Powell at Sunderland or later when I went on preseason tours to Sweden and America and learned the full capacities of what following a football team like Palace can be like.
I got to know players, managers, and supporters sharing a bond with other fans and becoming friends with the likes of Neil Warnock, Shaun Derry, Clint Hill, Neil Danns, Calvin Andrew, and Danny Butterfield. Life has taught me being a Palace fan is exciting and something to be proud of, and I hope by reading this, whoever you are you have a better understanding of my motives for writing this part of my blog and I hope you can relate it to experiences with your football team whoever you support. Thanks for reading.
Samuel
September 2011
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